This Mother’s Day I would like to get this up. As the title suggests You won’t be a bad Mother if you do what you feel is right! Is typically a satire on the entire parenting system.
We as mothers are always told what to do and what not to do. This is not a complaint. This is helpful almost all the time. And we as mothers need help too. But there is a certain time when our self-decision regarding kids also matters.
Restricting children at some point is the done thing. We cannot and should not do that every time they ask for something at the same time you should restrict them if you strongly feel this is not right or they might hurt themselves.
You won’t be a bad Mother if you do what you feel is right! when she forgets something:
In your hurry and burry life, we sometimes but rarely do forget things that go into the daily schedule and then Doom! “How can you forget that” “You have become very careless” “concentrate more on children and less on your career.”
Oh God! Mothers are also humans! Yes, Mothers are always expected to be on top of their game. And trust me when I say this, even we want to be on top of our game which includes, parenting, household chores, family time, friends, social gatherings, self-care, and career.
In the days’ time, after all her responsibilities she somehow neglected the dust accumulated over a couple of days. (Here in India, we get dust in the room pretty quickly) and yet again she gets to hear statements like, “You be home all day, what did you do” “You are so negligent” and “You don’t keep the room neat at all” “focus more at homemaking rather than your career”
Why!!! Ok! She forgot to clean. You saw the dust, what’s next???
It’s okay to clean it yourself! (sometimes)
A helping hand is always appreciated! (Speaking on behalf of all women/mothers)
You won’t be a bad Mother if you do what you feel is right! Feeding:
What to feed and what not to feed…? These conversations/ideas are really helpful and point to the point, we have with family and friends. But sometimes it’s ok to feed them what you think is right! No matter what others say. Different people have different opinions.
You won’t be a bad Mother if you do what you feel is right! Why I wanted to write this:
The only agenda, of my, writing this on Women’s Day is to say, you won’t be a bad Mother if you do what you feel is right! It’s ok to let go few things from your daily schedule. It’s ok to refuse to listen to what others say and follow what you strongly feel is right.
It is ok to take some time for yourself. For doing this, people might give you the label “selfish mother” but that’s fine ya!! Those people are not someone who actually ask, what’s really going on. It’s ok to order your partner to do a particular task while you just get some rest.
It’s also ok to feed children what you really feel is right for your kids. Children to children are different. What worked for other’s kids might not work for your kids.
This blog post is part of theblog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted byCindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.
Copyright Sadvika Kylash
This article is the property of the author Sadvika Kylash (momlifeandlifestyle.com). Any unauthorized use or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited
You would also want to read my other Women’s day post:
Women’s day with Single Mothers
Why do I write more about Single mother/Single Parents?
I hear you, Sadvika. I know exactly how you feel. They condition us to believe that all women are superwomen and will keep slogging tirelessly. But we have every right to do as we think fit in our situation. Nobody is going to award you for keeping the house dust free . Cheers to women and motherhood.
Same here not our moms and not even in laws but other people are there always to judge us. As a mother we have a right to do things which is right for us. I simply follow what I like. And hence less people will talk with me and I don’t care at all.????
Well written. All women need to stop feeling guilty and enjoy their womanhood, moms especially.
The heading says it all. And its high time, mothers take a break, walk out of the race and chill!
I can totally relate. I constantly have to listen to my parents saying what a careless mom I am. The thing is that I always try my level best to do everything for my kids .
I am a new mom and really stay confused on what I should do and what not and in such a stage of life your post came as fresh air for me. It will help me to think different and also encourage me to find some me time for me. I will try to work on your sayings in this post and will come back and share my experience with you.
Your post is so encouraging and refreshing for new moms. I have not yet come to that phase in life but what you stated resonates with all the moms. Always trust your own instincts for your child.
Well in simple words those who judge a mother must be put to live their lives for a few months.
Well in simple words those who judge a mother must be put to live their lives for a few months… Don’t you think so…
I absolutely feel you. I consider myself a badass mom. I neither listen to others’ unsolicited advice nor do as asked. As a mother I feel, we are the best judge of our kids and no two kids, moms or situations are alike, so my simple funda is “To each its own”. I take solo travel breaks away from hubby and kids, I read and write to get a breather, whilst my kid is around me reading, colouring, or watching her favourite show(i keep a tab of the screen time), plan date night with hubby, go out with my gfs and do not feel guilty at all. Rather I am a happier and more cheerful mom with a happy home and family. Loved your blog for the very same reason, it resonates with me.
I love this article so much! Sums up everything a mom would want to hear any given day. Guess it always comes down to not needing to compare yourself to others and simply appreciating the things you can do. With that, you’ll always feel at your best.
Mother is someone who always guides us and helps us to know what’s the best for us. So, they should also be given the chance to out forward their opinions and know where they stand. You have truly mentioned that we should stop kids when we thing its not right fir them.
There is a saying mother knows best and it is for a reason. Mothers are judged for everything she does. It is best to avoid listening to these opinions.
As a 35 year old unmarried woman, I can relate to the pressure of societal expectations placed upon women, especially when it comes to motherhood. This blog post is a refreshing reminder that it’s okay to trust our instincts and do what we feel is right for our children, even if it doesn’t align with what others are saying. As you mention, it’s also important to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about taking some time for self-care. Thank you for sharing this empowering message on Women’s Day!
I have seen so many moms struggle with this. Just one apparent “slip-up” and it gets the tongues wagging. As you said, do your own thing. Follow your gut. People are going to find fault either way.
awwww Sadvika… I feel you. I don’t think there is even one mother who hasn’t been under the scanner. But with time we learn to acknowledge and ignore. To each his own is what I’d like to believe in.
Everyone but a mother seems to have a say on how to lead her life and handle her children. The idea of perfection is fake, so better to ignore others and accept that a few mistakes here and there are only human.
Mothers are also human and hence make mistakes. Parenting should always be about what both partners feel right for themselves and their child. This also means responsibility is divided amongst both. Yes…. suggestions from others are welcome as some come with valuable experience that new parents may have not had.
Well-penned post Sadvika. I think it’s fair to say that we enter motherhood with a set of beliefs or expectations about what it means to be a good mother. We develop these beliefs from the pressure of our communities and society as a whole, the experiences with our own parents, and through the expectations of friends and family.
My guess is that each of us is most certainly being a good mother already.
Even as a single woman, I can relate to the essence of your post. As a single 33-year-old woman, I meet so many people in and out who will tell me what I must do to get married as soon as is possible. And it doesn’t stop at that. If you don’t follow their suggestions, they’ll have the audacity to be offended too.
Very well written Sadvika. All women especially all working moms, house wives need to stop feeling guilty about their work, no work, over burdain and enjoy their womanhood , their thinking, their way of living. Very important article for this era.
I completely agree with you Sadvika. Mothers are always judged no matter what she does. Sometimes, instead of complaining and making her feel worthless, all one needs to do is show some kindness, speak with compassion and grace. And like you have mentioned, moms should do what she feels and it is very well within her rights a fellow human.
True. Sterotyping ideas of motherhood is like an extra burden and that is great you emphasize on loosening up and doing what a mother feels is right.
An important message for mothers to hear!
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